19. Grief as a Birth Process

In this conversation, Iesha explores:

✨ Why she uses the word “birth” for grief
and how grief, like birth, is a natural process with a beginning, middle, and an end (even if the end isn’t neat or tickable)

✨ What supports grief, and what shuts it down
how surrender supports the process, and how fear, resistance, trying to hurry it up, and trying to control it can interrupt it

✨ Grief as both emotional processing and recalibration
meeting a version of you you may not have met before: “who am I without this?”

✨ Examples of recalibration grief
• becoming “operationally single” after decades of partnership
• grief after job loss, retirement, or identity shifts connected to role and purpose
• the grief of parenting shifts when a once-close child becomes more distant

✨ Why distraction and “choosing a better feeling thought” can slow grief down
Iesha acknowledges distraction can be useful, while also naming two drawbacks: it can interrupt the process, and it can delay the recalibration and skill-building needed for the new version of you

✨ How grief moves in waves
and why the body knows what it’s doing, like contractions: waves, then rest

✨ What surrender looks like in real life
allowing the waves when you can, and returning to them later if you have to hold it together in the moment
checking in with yourself: what do I need right now?
crying, resting, quiet, a cuddle, laughter, talking about it, not talking about it - allowing needs to shift day by day

✨ Completion and integration
not as “grief is done”, but as a lived place where the loss is no longer hijacking your day-to-day life
and a reminder: completion doesn’t mean the loss didn’t matter

Iesha closes by acknowledging grief is deeply personal, and that the recalibration and the skill sets required will be different depending on what has been lost.

If you’re grieving (or walking beside someone who is) and you’d like support to navigate this in a wholistic, honouring way, you can explore working with Iesha here. You’ll find the option to book a single session, or a no-cost Discovery Call if you’d like to explore deeper support: https://ieshadelune.com.au/offerings/wholistic-coaching/

For more free resources, or to join Iesha's email list visit :
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https://ieshadelune.com.au/offerings/wholistic-coaching/